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Worry is an Upper Limit Problem. Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap, says as soon as we experience positive feelings we tend to disrupt the positive experience with worry (or a number of other slick tricks!).

Worrying tends to be an investment that pays no dividends and always ends up in deficit.

We make up imaginary scenarios, most don’t happen, yet our bodies interpret each imaginary scene as a real-time threat. Our breath shortens, muscles tighten and stress hormones slowly and continuously release.

It’s so constant that most of us don’t recognize it, the same way we don’t notice the air we breath. With fierce attention we can let go of worry and expand our capacity to feel really good for longer periods of time.

Who doesn’t want that?

Here’s my real-life attempt at it:

It was a warmish winter day for coastal Maine. I was psyched to be out getting some fresh air with my dog Arjuna and my baby Sophia. My hope was that fresh air would help her take a nice nap later on and bring a ton of joy to stir-crazy Arjuna. Arjuna’s ears were perked up as he trotted in front of us all while pretending to lose the ball so he could find it again.

As I watched him, I noticed a tiny limp… or so I thought. Is that a limp? He’d cut his paw the day before. I told my neighbor that we’d go for a hike with our dogs in the afternoon. Maybe I should cancel? Did I need to get his paw wrapped? Should I call my vet friends or just give it time?

I caught myself… I was in a cycle of worry that felt real and legit.

Habitual fear-based programing will always resist letting go of worry. It will tell you “This IS a problem,” and make a case to continuously play out all of the scenarios.

Yes the cut it real, but it’s closed up, with no swelling or infection. I assured my fear-based mind that Arjuna was happy, not bleeding, and there was nothing to fix in that moment. I decided to expand my capacity for positive energy flow and drop it.

Here’s how:
Hendricks 7 steps (paraphrased):
1. Notice that you’re worrying about something.
2. Decide to drop it (it is actually that easy).
3. Ask: What positive new thing is trying to come into being?
4. Look for a positive feeling in your body to arise.
5. Take time to observe and feel it.
6. Feel it deeply for as long as possible (expanding capacity for positive feelings).
7. Subsequently, more concrete images or ideas may arise of “positive things that were trying to arise” that your worrying was squelching.

My chest began to feel more expansive. I felt light. I felt clear. The positive thing I was blocking was my ability to take in the fresh air and enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. Something I haven’t allowed myself to land in fully. By dropping the worry, I opened myself up to receive the gift of this incredible moment with my family.

Sophia began to fall asleep. “F*ck! Don’t fall asleep now! We’re almost home. What am I going to do? Can she take her entire nap in the stroller? How will I get the stroller up the stairs? Can I transfer her to her warm, dark, cozy room? Will she wake up? Will this mess up her nap schedule and her whole day?”

Wow! I was at it again. I was hitting an upper limit of my ability to experience present moment joy. So again, I dropped the worry. Took a breath. Searched for all the good feelings in my body. Lightness. Fresh Air. Gratitude. Ahhh… So this is the practice.

The process is shocking, and inspiring. I’d like to think I’m a pretty positive person, yet look at the number of times I blocked my own ability to hang out in pleasure within a five-minute period.

We have the opportunity to train our brains to receive and feel the gifts that are always being offered and to see opportunities that a worrying brain simply cannot see. Tony Robins says he created the life he wanted. He trains his brain every day. When he gets upset, he gives himself 90 seconds to get coherent so his brain and heart are in synch. The only place good choices can come from.

As for the things I could have worried about: Sophia kept sleeping and I was able to eat lunch, read, take a power nap, and write this blog. As for Arjuna, he passed out with a grin on his face.

I assume I’m not alone in this. I’m guessing you worry too. I’m inviting you to experiment for one day. See what it feels like to let go of your worries the moment you spot them. Then observe any positive ideas, opportunities or feelings that enter your body or mind.

Feel the good that comes to you as fully as you can for as long as you can. Increase your capacity to feel good.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I’m right there with you…

In expanding our capacity for abundance, love and connection,

Sarah

Rushing to pack or prep for a holiday, or simply over scheduling any part of my life leads to mental and physical clumsiness.  I trip, bump into people, don’t make honest eye contact in everyday interactions (clichéd example – at the checkout counter).  I double-schedule appointments and forget birthdays.  The joys in life are easily passed over, as it becomes an effort to slow down, breathe, taste my food, and really be with the ones I love.

When I’m in a rush, focused on my to-dos, my energy slowly drains away as the day goes on.  Every time I check off a to-do I get a dopamine hit, but then it wears off.  Onto the next to-do to make my ego feel better and keep the dopamine coming! Can you relate?

In the process of being busy, I can lose my ability to feel joy and empathy.

Application: empathy not only gives us the settling feeling of connection but also makes it possible to hang with a diverse range of people.  A skill needed for the work place, family relations and life in general!

From a postural perspective, focusing on the next task tends to leave the head sitting in front of the torso (forward head posture).  The shoulders slump in, upper back rounds, lower back flattens, chest drops, while the belly and pelvic floor collapse. You may be doing this as you read right now.  Notice, what’s your breath like as your head sits forward

For most of you, the breath shortens and sits higher in the chest, as if you’re responding to an emergency.  Cortisol and adrenaline are released at a constant low level, creating all sorts of havoc in the body, including inhibiting our ability to slow down, digest, feel creative, and connect to others and ourselves.  In this state, headaches, stomachaches, injuries, illness and self-defensive arguments tend to ensue.

An imbalance of forward focus can create a feeling of, “I’m alone in the world.  If I don’t do it, no one will.” Your body and ego are on defense because they feel like they have to do to survive and be worthy.

Good news! This trick I recently learned from Mary Bond, author of The New Rules of Posture: How to Sit, Stand, and Move in the Modern World, is simple and effective.  Thanks Mary!

 

The Trick

Focus on a point in front of you as if you are a discerning art critic.

Notice the placement of your head.  Notice your breath.  Do you feel stable if someone were to push you?

(Stop reading. Try it.)

Now with your eyes still looking forward bring your attention to your periphery.  How far can you see in either direction without turning your head? What colors? Does the space feel expansive, small, turbulent, or quiet?

Now imagine the space behind your body.  Is anyone behind you? Is anything touching you? Does it feel empty? Heavy?  How far back can you sense? Does it have a real or envisioned color? Begin to sense your peripersonal space. (PPS- the space your body can sense, usually within arms’ length).

Last, as you’re looking forward with a greater sense of your PPS, imagine that you’re trying to hear someone who is quietly talking behind you.  I like to imagine a muse whispering to me.

This little trick, shifts the head back just right, lifts the chest a bit, lengthens the back upwards, lets the shoulders sit back with more ease, and gives space for the breath to expand.

Moving the head back in space and PPS sensing shifts us to, “I’m part of a community, centered in myself, with personal goals, but aware that I’m in relation to the environment, events, and people around me.”  You can be and do in this space.  This is the space athletes refer to as being “in the zone.”

For teachers, body workers, energy workers, psychologists, nurses, or anyone who manages or gives care to others, you can take this exercise one step further:

Take your right hand and wipe the back of your left hand, then with your left hand wipe the back of your right hand.  Now take one or both hands and feel the back of your head, neck, back, butt, and legs.  Bring your full attention to the places that have just been touched.  This is your back body.  Say hello.  Now imagine as if you had eyes on the back of your body, what does this space look like, feel like, what’s behind you?  Keep this feeling of your back space while you work on or with people, and there’s a good chance you will feel less drained and more capable of keeping your power while helping others to tune into theirs (instead of giving them yours).

MY CHALLENGE TO YOU:

Remembering to do it while in the go-go-go state is really frigg’n hard (I recently had a total fail when it would have been uber helpful).

Right now set a phone alarm or calendar reminder for this weekend.  When it goes off, check in.  Do you feel good? If not check into your PPS, let your body find it’s natural power posture.  Reset and continue on.

At the end of the weekend do the same thing for next week.  Set 1-3 reminders each day.

Another helpful trick is what I mentioned in the last blog: wearing a bracelet, ring, or string that will remind you to check in with your mental and physical “posture.”

 

Adjusting your posture while tuning into PPS is helpful if you’re interested in:

1)   Improving your posture

2)   Feeling more grounded and centered

3)   Breathing with more ease

4)   Keeping your power, energy and perspective as you interact with others and your to-do list.

 

photo credit: Erica Magliaro Taylor

How’s it feel to have your heart on the other side of your chest?

I’ve never experienced anything so sensual.(To sense fully)

I’ve never felt such piercing pain for such an extended period of time.

I’ve never had to surrender so completely.

I’ve never known love or bliss quite like this.

Here’s my heart, it now rests on the other side of my chest.

 

I hope your summer was fantastic and that you’re transitioning into the fall equinox with wonder and perhaps a bit of grace.

I have certainly been full of a ton of wonder, and only a BIT of grace 😉

Let me explain how exhaustion can lead to some pretty big changes… LIKE OPENING A NEW THERAPEUTICS STUDIO! What? yup… here’s how:

 

In June I realized everything as I knew it would never again exist in its current form. An obvious statement for a Taoist.

 

Steve will be done at Columbia Endodontics June 2015.  So the future looks like this:

We will stay on Long Island. OR… maybe move.

We will have children soon.  OR… maybe later.

Considering the above I could then definitely say:

My work will remain on the same path. OR… change course completely.

 

On top of these certain uncertainties I was feeling burnt out.

Asking if you’ve ever felt burt out might be a silly question, so assuming you can relate- let’s move forward!

 

Poet David Whyte said, “Tell me about Exhaustion.”

 

And his friend answered, “You know that the antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest? The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness.” If you invest your energy anywhere other than your true power then, “You are only half here, and half here will kill you after a while. You need something to which you can give your full powers. You know what that is; I don’t have to tell you.”

Whyte knew the answer, and the next courageous step he had to take.  I on the other hand was baffled because I thought I was on the right path, but was certain deep down in my gut that something had to change.  What, I did not know.

I decided to spend my time this summer doing less (let productivity goals go), playing more, and listening deeper.   I listened closely to the whispers of the world incase there were secrets I wasn’t hearing.  It turns out, there were.

By the end of the summer the whispers (gut feelings, signs, synchronicity) were clear.   I was going to be stepping into unchartered territory.  Part of that territory would be a new studio!! WHAT?!

 

Yes it’s true! In one week I made a decision, renovated a space and am open for business!  Holy Heck what a whirlwind!

 

The Leap:

My clients all received a letter two weeks ago, explaining my declaration I made when I was 24 to have a mid-life crisis upon waking every morning.  It explained how this studio would support them if I were to stay forever, move, or have children.  It was a letter that my mother told me was too personal to share, but after a few days of withholding, I had to share anyway.

While leaping from my stable- well known structure, there been  a few painful deaths of my ego, but that has only created necessary space for  creative growth.  Taking this leap of faith has left me feeling wholeheartedly engaged, energized, creative, and enthused.

I’ve learned this: Faith is not wishy-washy, it’s deep listening matched by the courage to act on what’s revealed.  We all get gut feelings, day dream of core desires, and have things synchronistically appear in our lives- these are the things I’m suggesting we pay attention to and act on.

 

 Listen… What’s revealing itself to you?  Will you act?

 

The Studio:

This space is for self-empowered multi-dimensional healing.  It’s like a church, minus any religious dogma.  It is a place in which souls gather to heal and feel their capacity to be wholehearted and happy.

This space holds a feeling of peace, possibility, and calm.  Offerings of daily prasad (blessed food or drinks that nourish the body), weekly inspirational quotes, high-grade essential oils, color therapy, and all the props we need, are here to create a healing experience.

See more before and after pictures!

 

Yoga Therapeutics:

Private therapeutic sessions are all about your individual aspirations. My aim is to use my extensive background in anatomy, physiology, spirituality, and psychology along with your self-inquiry and dedication to create a specific program that will help you to thrive.

Praise

 When I started,  I could not stand up to brush my teeth.  Now, my husband and I ride bikes, go for long hikes, and have even zip lined.  I’m able to do yoga poses that before I thought, “Yeah right. Me, doing that?” but YES, I AM DOING THEM!! All of this has happened for me in a very short period of time.  The possibilities seem limitless!  

For others who are scared or hesitant that Sarah may not be the right instructor for you, I BEG of you, Please, Please, just make ONE CALLto her, it WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!! 

– Christine Hoey Hicksville, NY

I want to thank you for being a part of this journey with me.

 

Book an Appointment with Me!

 

With loads of gratitude and faith,

 

Sarah Tangredi

 

“Miracles are natural.  When they do not occur something has gone wrong.” A Course in Miracles